How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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