Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
