I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Randomize
