Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
