Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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