New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
