just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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