I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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