..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
