Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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