I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
