Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize