Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize