well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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