Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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