It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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