i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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