remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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