I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
