I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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