I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
