Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
