If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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