Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
