i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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