I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We have so much sex to catch up on
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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