this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
