Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
whose parrot is this?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
