too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize