chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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