I wanna passion pit in your ass
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
