If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
