since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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