Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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