Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
