Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
