C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize