I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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