so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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