Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
