I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
