If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
