I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
