It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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