Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
