i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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