Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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