two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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