Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
