Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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