I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
