what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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