we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
