all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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