don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
