Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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