I think my vagina is haunted
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Randomize
