how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize