I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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