As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
