Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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