If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
