great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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