FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
