everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
