I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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