i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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