Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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