Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
