I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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