so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
