Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
