just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
